Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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