Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
