Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
