just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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