I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
