bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
