whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
