i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
