if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
