So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
