he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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