There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
