i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
