yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
