I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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