I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
