ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
