My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
