I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
