got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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