I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
