Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
