the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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