I am puke
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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