I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
