ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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