He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
