Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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