I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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