Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
