eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
