well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
