I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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