I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
