i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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