all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
