I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
