ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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