Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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