Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
