Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
