Im at strip club and am horny
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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