Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
