the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Found the puke drawer
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
