we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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