Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
