Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
