Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
