Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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