We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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