whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
