I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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