Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Randomize
