whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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